Top Ten Things Bob Barker Can Say Now That He’s Retiring
10 “I’ve been making up these prices for years!”
9 “I’m running for President in ’08; ask me how much a gallon of Milk is – I dare you”
8 “It’s true, steroids is what extended my career”
7 “I have stock in a pet neutering conglomerate”
6 “No, that is not the price, it’s not even close. Why are you wasting my time?”
5 “I’m getting a little apprehensive about that picture I bought from Dorian Gray”
4 “I’ve won; I outlived that bastard Tom Poston”
3 “Now I’m off to resume my search for the One-Armed Man”
2 “Now that Anna Nicole Smith is dead; why go on”?
1 “I’m going to Washington
Top Ten Surprises In "Spider-Man 3"
10 “It’s not as good as the first two”
9 “Willem Dafoe still ugly”
8 “Bruce Campbell still better actor than Ben Affleck”
7 “Dead characters still getting more lines than Steven Segal”
6 “Huge sandman modeled after Donald Trumps ego”
5 “J. Jonah Jameson still hates Spiderman; calls Geraldo to dig up dirt”
4 “Like GW Bush; also gets caught in a web of lies”
3 “The Black Flag tie-in is a little too obvious”
2 “The A-Team are suing; full-scale armed combat with no deaths a copyrighted trademark.
1 “They bring in Jack Nicholson as The Joker to “save” the movie
Top Ten Signs You Have A Bad Stockbroker
10 “Keeps talking about trading Boardwalk for Mediterranean Avenue
9 “When he talks; no one listens”
8 “He is not at all of your family functions”
7 “He lives in a cardboard box financed with Delta Stock”
6 “He wears a ‘Communism Rules, Capitalism Drools’ T-Shirt”
6 “He wears a ‘Communism Rules, Capitalism Drools’ T-Shirt”
5 “Drives a Mint condition 1988 Yugo”
4 “You overhear him telling one of his buddies that he made a killing in 'quatloos' last year”
3 “He gambles on Pro Football and Dog fights; both in the same location”
2 “He lists wooden nickels as a ‘BUY’”
1 “He keeps movie ‘Wall Street” running in a loop in his office”
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