tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5315997870071520232024-03-21T13:28:01.555-04:00RantsAndPranks.comThe original humor of Scott Bolander. The output of a Genetically Molested mind.Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-76197534373196004092012-12-30T15:46:00.001-05:002013-01-07T15:48:17.427-05:00The Great Wolf Lodge's war on illegal drugs, sodomy, and me . . .<div style="text-align: right;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Great Wolf Lodge: Fierce blood-thirsty <br />predators will keep your kids in line</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was looking into an extended stay at the <a href="http://www.cocokeycincinnati.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Great Wolf Lodge</span></a> (an indoor family water park and hotel, where there are certainly no cameras in the showers) while my house is being fumigated. That's a weird story in itself - the first exterminator I called ran out of my house screaming - wait, I should have worded that better - Ok, he <i>did </i>run out of my house (which I call 'House Screaming'), but I'm pretty sure he was only whimpering at that point. I mean yes, he <i>did</i> scream a <i>little</i> at first, but by the time he got out the door he was out of breath. I think he might have hyperventilated there a bit. Isn't that strange? I mean air is good for you, so why wouldn't a lot of air be better? </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Just gimme a little taste . . .</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You would think so, but as the insulin battle I had with my grandmother taught me, </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX5CKDD6qMcMPZWE22bI_otvtOh6QKaRAaEhmMNDhbnjtASbnEMuqJn1V-ZbCebX8O7b5rZ4QczTlSNT0qaXLwz5vgZI7Tif0_Bcnp8Pn3h1-K3d03UbrcKOFkzYiXdJQbQAdZHJw9s4GM/s1600/funny-fat-gigantic14.jpg" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">you really <i>can</i> have too much of a good thing</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> - the paramedics, police, medical examiner, and judge were all very clear on that point. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8dB4rs8oMso/UOCRrDxMy3I/AAAAAAAAAk0/hJ8uD4dZ06k/s1600/out+of+order.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8dB4rs8oMso/UOCRrDxMy3I/AAAAAAAAAk0/hJ8uD4dZ06k/s200/out+of+order.jpg" width="108" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Apparently, *I* was <br />the one out of order</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They also said something about my Grandmother being more of what you would call a </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">random stranger</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">, and she wasn't even diabetic! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, why did she want the insulin sooo much? I could tell she wanted it. Sure, she fought a bit at first - but just for show. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My lawyers claimed they had never seen the phrases "defensive wounds" and "livestock syringe" together in so many places in a trial transcript. So, there's that.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A6-wuIDnIvs/UOCTph5bJPI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/t7UmoeuYldE/s1600/tire+tracks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A6-wuIDnIvs/UOCTph5bJPI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/t7UmoeuYldE/s200/tire+tracks.jpg" width="146" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>I hear that fences make <br />good neighbors . . .</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Anyways, about an hour after the first exterminator rudely drove through my neighbor's yard in his haste to leave, several FEMA trucks showed up, and about twenty guys in bio-hazard suits poured out like roaches from a Denny's. Then they just started lobbing tear gas canisters into my house. Why does this keep happening to me?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fortunately, I was across the street hiding in my neighbor's bushes (it was a Tuesday after all). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">S</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">he just flaunts what she has, clearly she doesn't care who sees. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I mean, she has to know that if anyone peers through the .25" gap between her blinds (after jamming your head under the security bars) that they could literally see everything in the upper right side of her pantry. So, it's like <i>right</i> in your face.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wi3p4HRWN98/UOCYkv29qlI/AAAAAAAAAlk/2nDXNgpPPwQ/s1600/Manufactured+home+fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wi3p4HRWN98/UOCYkv29qlI/AAAAAAAAAlk/2nDXNgpPPwQ/s320/Manufactured+home+fire.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Each time this happens it gets harder for <br />me to get my damage deposit back</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyways, after watching them burn down my house (and the two houses on either side of mine) with flamethrowers, I realized that I needed temporary housing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And yes, <i>had they asked</i>, I certainly would have been forthcoming about the tied up nuns and pipe bombs in the basement. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Normally I would just house-sit for that neighbor of mine that lives half the year in Florida, but he fired me and changed the locks. Well, fired might not be the right word. Actually, <i>prosecuted</i> might be a better fit there. Yeah, prosecuted. I always get those two mixed up, I've heard them used together so often.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pabY6DTrldI/UOCeOYOMrDI/AAAAAAAAAl8/4hFKsR7pixY/s1600/olderwomancomputer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pabY6DTrldI/UOCeOYOMrDI/AAAAAAAAAl8/4hFKsR7pixY/s200/olderwomancomputer.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Can you make the letters bigger? <br />My blindness is acting up today</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, I contacted the Great Wolf Lodge's chat support. But did they care that what used to be my house is now a fifty foot deep concrete pad, surrounded by several layers of barbed wire fence and armed guard? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">No they couldn't care less:</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ttky8mXtPM8/UOCECaoxGbI/AAAAAAAAAkQ/rBeADhbU9vA/s1600/great+wolf+chat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ttky8mXtPM8/UOCECaoxGbI/AAAAAAAAAkQ/rBeADhbU9vA/s640/great+wolf+chat.jpg" width="564" /></span></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LvnJPb4za68/UOCKeZcmtJI/AAAAAAAAAkk/ucnqbQ-B244/s1600/sexy-girls-on-water-slides-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LvnJPb4za68/UOCKeZcmtJI/AAAAAAAAAkk/ucnqbQ-B244/s400/sexy-girls-on-water-slides-3.jpg" width="367" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">The perfect ending to a Great Wolf day</i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-24713161231509779912012-12-09T17:11:00.000-05:002012-12-09T17:11:53.279-05:00Fixing Wikipedia - Troy Boyle revealed?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6DRLTXLPYnQ/UMUHyNq4BVI/AAAAAAAAAj0/lJkb5AU6Nu0/s1600/troy+boyle+-+two_face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6DRLTXLPYnQ/UMUHyNq4BVI/AAAAAAAAAj0/lJkb5AU6Nu0/s200/troy+boyle+-+two_face.jpg" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Man, that was a <i>mean</i> Tranny!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I was searching <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wikipedia" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a> for ways to neutralize the mace that got sprayed in my eyes while doing pro bono quality control at <a href="http://www.mgtowforums.com/forums/attachments/mens-general-discussion/2042d1353121315-fat-women-provocative-clothing-4.jpg" target="_blank">Victoria's Secret</a> this morning, and I happened upon a article on a <a href="http://www.biography.com/imported/images/Biography/Images/Profiles/D/Jeffrey-Dahmer-9264755-1-402.jpg" target="_blank">former co-worker</a> of mine.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Since it was quite sparse on details, I took the opportunity to flesh it out a bit. I think you'll agree that <i>this</i> is much better than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Troy_Boyle&oldid=503079880" target="_blank">the original</a>; as the former version was based on reality.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MTxyNaEfH14/UMUB-0K5RTI/AAAAAAAAAjk/S_V5_JnkUWA/s1600/troy+boyle+p2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MTxyNaEfH14/UMUB-0K5RTI/AAAAAAAAAjk/S_V5_JnkUWA/s640/troy+boyle+p2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know that Troy is happy with the changes I have made, because he has been calling to thank me repeatedly for the last several hours. Now that I am done posting this, I will finally be able to answer the phone.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Oh, and Troy, when you read this, bear in mind that I no longer live where I used to.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5plfBAbTdWY/UMUJmdAVuMI/AAAAAAAAAj8/59G7G5oVreA/s1600/troy+boyle+-+live-in-car.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5plfBAbTdWY/UMUJmdAVuMI/AAAAAAAAAj8/59G7G5oVreA/s200/troy+boyle+-+live-in-car.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The Police can't excavate your<br />basement - if you don't have one.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Don't waste your time looking for me, I don't often park my home in the same shopping center for more than a day or two.</span></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-66617905316341329752012-07-19T15:20:00.000-04:002012-07-19T15:20:54.023-04:00Listen to Drew Stubbs - He has your back<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1zABZ_LpUxc/UAhd6zZgfxI/AAAAAAAAAd8/05QYnFYoJ3o/s1600/dont+turn+around.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="496" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1zABZ_LpUxc/UAhd6zZgfxI/AAAAAAAAAd8/05QYnFYoJ3o/s640/dont+turn+around.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-19968809196501456952012-04-10T20:50:00.000-04:002012-04-10T20:50:04.163-04:00Scott Bolander, stand up comedian?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/6tjQaltKbS4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-58590049469244068362012-01-27T16:45:00.004-05:002012-07-18T10:09:09.654-04:00Should crazy people be allowed on the internet? Read and decide for yourself<i>(Be sure to click on <a href="https://www.aphasia.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">words</span></a> with <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynx" target="_blank">links</a>, </span>they are an important part of the article)</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was cruising the interwebs and happened across a article concerning some political thing or something. After I finished consuming the propaganda (there really should be a <a href="http://www.yelp.com/" target="_blank">Urban Spoon</a> for that, am I right?), I happened to scroll down to the comments - which I normally do when I'm out of liquor and I need to feel better about myself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was rewarded with one of the richest troves of insane conspiracy theories that has ever graced the internet. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://palinsdirtylittlesecret.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">A Tangled Web They Weave</a> is the product of the diseased mind of one </span><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2009/11/head-up-ass.jpg" target="_blank">Aaron Fleszar</a>, a sadly disturbed individual who may or may not be blogging from the cellar of a hospital for the criminally insane.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I wanted to start this off by providing a concise summary of Aaron's political philosphy, but after reading through his disconnected rants, I find that it is impossible to distill down to any particular sort of crazy. He does not seem to lean <a href="http://front.moveon.org/" target="_blank">left</a> or <a href="http://www.cnn.com/" target="_blank">right</a>, </span><span style="font-size: large;">but spews nuttiness in most every direction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Full disclosure: I'm a card carrying member of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Woman%27s_Party" target="_blank">Nation Woman's Party</a> myself. While I have no <i>current</i> plans to become a transvestite, were I to do so, I'd like to be around other "ladies" who'd make me look better by comparison.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lets start with his opener:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><i>There is an extensive code online of anagrams and look alikes put together by the wealthiest people in the world with the goal of electing their spokesperson (Obama) to represent the interests of big business. They may be considered The New World Order, Masons, Illuminati, Al-Qaeda, or all secret societies working together. I won't label them. You are welcome to form your own opinion.</i></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: large; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><b>Seems pretty solid so far. Let's continue:</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large; text-align: -webkit-auto;"> </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>After reading this please call the <span style="color: red;">FBI </span>and ask that they quit creating crimes against humanity by threatening and torturing myself and my family 24 hours a day for the last 3 years and 9 months. I'm tired of the death threats and being unable to sue the living shit out everyone including undercover "agent" Trenton High School class of 1994 graduate Shawn McDonald who continues to bully me online and threaten me. He has committed hundreds of crimes against me after more then a decade of targeting. He's cost me jobs, relationships, and has destroyed my credit claiming that I broke the law. (For Shawn) If you think I broke the law Shawn you worthless sack of shit prove it in a court of law you coward lowlife. <span style="color: blue;">(Because of this statement and leaking the truth about the made up stories in the news in addition to the polling numbers and "surges" they used "DIE BOLD" vote counting machines in the New Hampshire Caucuses, another implied threat)</span></i></b></div>
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: blue;"><br />
</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large; text-align: -webkit-auto;">The only mistake I see so far is that he neglected to list the FBI's phone number. Here it is if you would like to stop the end of the world: </span><b style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;"><span class="gc-cs-link" id="gc-number-0" title="Call with Google Voice"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #222222;">(508) 543-8200</span><span style="color: black;">.</span></span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="gc-cs-link" title="Call with Google Voice"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></span></span></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IQHaEjm7LHI/TyMMx5vH8KI/AAAAAAAAAZA/Y_03bgYDirM/s1600/johnahill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IQHaEjm7LHI/TyMMx5vH8KI/AAAAAAAAAZA/Y_03bgYDirM/s1600/johnahill.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What a high school FBI agent might look like</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I'll be honest, I'd never before considered that the FBI might be planting undercover agents in my local high school, but if they did, </span><span style="font-size: large;">I'm pretty sure that they would immediately target <strike>schizophrenics</strike> people like Aaron Flezsar for harassment. I mean, why wouldn't they? <b>I stand with Aaron and proudly proclaim my willingness to lay down my life to protect his <i>right</i> to shout profanities at strangers on the street and to slap at </b></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b>the invisible butterflies circling his head.</b></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YzG_ci0Or_s/TyMS8AjRGrI/AAAAAAAAAZM/awZNZow93vE/s1600/edith+keeler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="186" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YzG_ci0Or_s/TyMS8AjRGrI/AAAAAAAAAZM/awZNZow93vE/s200/edith+keeler.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lincoln points out flying truck with<br />
CIA logo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">When Abraham Lincoln gave his life to save us from the Greeks in that war a long time ago, I know that he was thinking of </span><strike><span style="font-size: large;">schizophrenics</span></strike><span style="font-size: large;"> people like Aaron Flezsar when he jumped in front of that flying truck to save <a href="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/080321/must-list/joan-crawford_l.jpg" target="_blank">Edith Keeler</a>. Take that Mr. Hitler.</span> <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">After nailing his persuasive argument on the dangers of the FBI, <a href="http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles3/1633346/article_images/norm_macdonald2_v9_1.jpg" target="_blank">Shawn McDonald</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haloperidol" target="_blank">Haldol</a>, Aaron goes on to examine the connection (obvious in hindsight) between <a href="http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/j/1/3/sarah-palin-gun-3.jpg" target="_blank">Sarah Palin</a> and South Florida politician <a href="http://epicbeard.net/beards/resized/121.jpg" target="_blank">Fidel Castro</a>. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Now I know what you're thinking: Finally, someone who says the things that I've been thinking all along!</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He could have stopped there, but that's not the sort of stuff that Aaron Fleszar is made of, no sir! Here is his proof, point by point and irrefutable:</span><br />
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="1" style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><tbody>
<tr><td><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-image: initial; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; color: black; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px; position: relative; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFAfU3E44BzE5nOFSgL57Q3oCOcbqE3T2eOtpgZeEjbjesy3eBu9ZIWlc8z1J7yBBzwLvXu9xLnLvDWCCHuEajcYQK5zBlNCFoc40rO-cSU4LU329NchMILXDJWuAHdp-90rx5IlZMuqE/s320/goingroguesigning.jpg" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFAfU3E44BzE5nOFSgL57Q3oCOcbqE3T2eOtpgZeEjbjesy3eBu9ZIWlc8z1J7yBBzwLvXu9xLnLvDWCCHuEajcYQK5zBlNCFoc40rO-cSU4LU329NchMILXDJWuAHdp-90rx5IlZMuqE/s400/goingroguesigning.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Sarah Palin during a signing of her book Going Rogue</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td><td><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-image: initial; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; color: black; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px; position: relative; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ehDK7n79yhvwe3TrhFeUbdnan8I5oVqOpJFWjxC49w6LdVX7J6YhHhULqoo8WX26SzCfj6ntg4gTDwZ_nqaQR5ebe-uJhK14sZVhg0QR9KWtDtgfN0GB1gsNmTZ5ycP1VeaXw_koDWw/s320/fidel.jpg" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7ehDK7n79yhvwe3TrhFeUbdnan8I5oVqOpJFWjxC49w6LdVX7J6YhHhULqoo8WX26SzCfj6ntg4gTDwZ_nqaQR5ebe-uJhK14sZVhg0QR9KWtDtgfN0GB1gsNmTZ5ycP1VeaXw_koDWw/s320/fidel.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Communist Cuban Dictator Fidel Castro</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The code I will continue to reveal here was rapped around Sarah Palin in the last election. This information was supplied to the Feds at the end of March in 2008 about 6 months prior to the election. In order to successfully elected Obama I believe those behind his campaign determined who his opponent would be. Once McCain got the nomination as the GOP candidate, Sarah Palin was planted as his running mate to draw chatter from this organization. She was inserted into the election at a 45 degree angle so this group would question whether or not she was aligned with them.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Code or coincidence?</b><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin and John McCain claimed to be a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mavericks</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mark Cuban owns the Dallas </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mavericks</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Obama claims his basketball name was </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Barack</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> O'Bomber</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin claims her basketball name is Sarah </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Barrac</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">uda</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Obama claims to have been born in </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Hawaii </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin claims to have attended school at </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Hawaii</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Hilo and graduated from U of Idaho in </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Moscow</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Idaho</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin claims to be able to see </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Russia</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> from her house</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mark Cuban was under investigation for insider trading of a search engine company named </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mamma</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin claims to be a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mama </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Grizzly</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Obama was a Chicago Senator</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Chicago </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Bears </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Chicago </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Cubs </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Mama </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Grizzly</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Gayle King was a news anchor</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin was a news anchor</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>Throughout this page you will slowly learn Sarah Palin's background, name, history, and entire identity is completely fabricated. I know this without a doubt because the people you're about to learn about were targeting me online. Half of Sarah Palin's identity is completely fabricated around myself and my history.</i> </span> </div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I don't know about you, but my whole world-view has been destroyed, and I find myself questioning every opinion I have ever had. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Maybe I was wrong to dismiss Jersey Shore as a valid source of relationship advice. Is the take a penny / leave a penny by the register at <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&safe=off&rlz=1C1GPCK_enUS379US380&sig=118249979743188942759&biw=1138&bih=535&tbm=isch&tbnid=yB9wyyUtWSrF0M:&imgrefurl=http://www.flickriver.com/photos/delina/sets/72157625690135268/&docid=oDXwMCfa_2aJuM&imgurl=http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3171/2578542349_4068234f47.jpg&w=500&h=329&ei=4x4jT6CBFMm4tweLt4GiCw&zoom=1" target="_blank">Achmed's Gas & Gyros</a> a CIA tracking device? </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K60AlYONv9o/TyMhU0KprnI/AAAAAAAAAZY/ulG54GH8wVY/s1600/lump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K60AlYONv9o/TyMhU0KprnI/AAAAAAAAAZY/ulG54GH8wVY/s1600/lump.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note bulge in head from alien implant</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes when I'm behind someone walking through a doorway, they hold the door for me. <i>Why?</i> How did they <i>know</i> I was <i>also</i> going through that door? <b>Do they have a alien implant embedded deep within my skull?</b> </span><span style="font-size: large;">After this, I have to examine every aspect of the world around me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now that we know that Sarah Palin is a part of this huge conspiracy, can we assume that she is in cahoots with other conservative figures, right? NO! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That's right, the conspiracy goes deeper than that. It goes right to the top:</span><br />
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<tr><td><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-image: initial; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; color: black; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 1px; padding-right: 1px; padding-top: 1px; position: relative; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQWLwvdvx9cv05CA_KgQktHBjnshI6RNhyFwwgZmdecxPZW-jpgaIKihaN5jRSnJiZe1w-MZkuiKZJgSOramZLtR-AlXTPGKz1m9C1dgPGNNkIZTEXaXlvMmyzuggWHTBHUdJK8cdeDmc/s1600/soros.jpg" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQWLwvdvx9cv05CA_KgQktHBjnshI6RNhyFwwgZmdecxPZW-jpgaIKihaN5jRSnJiZe1w-MZkuiKZJgSOramZLtR-AlXTPGKz1m9C1dgPGNNkIZTEXaXlvMmyzuggWHTBHUdJK8cdeDmc/s200/soros.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Currency Trader Billionaire George Soros</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh98pFdo1EpNrudjfB13at7bu9lVVINYFCf5raD2LMe_cQY3U6eD4O9W0PzlpL0S61OPnMzw83HshlCuikJmGHE2KoM_6o_e0Fvkgzhy3QUAWvJ2Z5k9Lp3rvPiN03ELkWk-9oi4eq5JoY/s400/jayconradlevinson1.jpeg" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh98pFdo1EpNrudjfB13at7bu9lVVINYFCf5raD2LMe_cQY3U6eD4O9W0PzlpL0S61OPnMzw83HshlCuikJmGHE2KoM_6o_e0Fvkgzhy3QUAWvJ2Z5k9Lp3rvPiN03ELkWk-9oi4eq5JoY/s320/jayconradlevinson1.jpeg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Guerrilla Marketer Jay Conrad Levinson</td></tr>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Billionaire trader George Soros is said to be responsible for collapsing currencies in Europe on more then one occasion. He has connections to organizations such as; The Apollo Alliance, The Tides Foundation, Open Society and</span><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> hundreds</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> of others trying to "transform America." Soros has spoken publicly a number of times regarding a New World Order. Some of these look alikes may actually be relatives who share similar traits like these 2 from the eyes down.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">On the right is Guerrilla Marketer Jay Conrad Levinson. </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">His name, as well as several others online, appears on something called the GURUDAQ. Several of the aliases these people operate under have political associations. Many of their last names are those of US Senators and Congressman. The word Guerrilla appears to be a play on words referring to Guerrilla Warfare, not marketing. </b></i> </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">My mind is blown. <b>Palin is <a href="http://blog.timesunion.com/localarts/files/2010/09/Blue-Velvet.jpg" target="_blank">Soros's</a> <a href="http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00641/news-graphics-2007-_641578a.jpg" target="_blank">trophy wife</a>?</b> Say it ain't so! But it gets worse: </span><br />
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<i><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Code or coincidence?</b><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin claims to have graduated for University of Idaho in </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Moscow</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> Idaho</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah claims she can see </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Russia </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">from her house</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The longtime leader of Russia was Vladimir </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">P</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ut</span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">in</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">P</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">ut</span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">in P</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">al</span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">in</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">McCain claimed his favorite band is ABBA which is a </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">palin</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">drome</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Another </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">palin</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">drome is the last name of George </span><span style="background-color: white; color: red; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">SoRoS</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Long time enemy of Israel is </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Pal</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">est</span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">in</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">e</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The </span><span style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Palin</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> name appears close to many things</span></i> </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now this conspiracy involves the hot hot Sarah Palin as well as</span><span style="font-size: large;"> the </span><a href="http://img.xcitefun.net/users/2009/12/131169,xcitefun-vladimir-putin-russia.jpg" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;">King of Prussia, Vladimir Putin</span></a><span style="font-size: large;">. I now see <i>why</i> she can see Russia from her house.</span><br />
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<i><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Duplication of code or coincidence?</b><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Sarah Palin's siblings names are Heather Heath </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: red;">Bruce</span> </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">and Molly Heath </span><span style="background-color: white; color: lime; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b>McCann</b>.</span></i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i> Sarah Palin's daughter Piper, the name of a plane, shares a birthday of March 19th with actor Bruce Willis.</i> </span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQug3cq5t7-OhPM1Q1NiDZ8PJWvofFBImi6IGi5IXWQkZ6c0dB0gykxYmiE03k-0fAIGgIwjQL7Jw0gDYKZj6X68N2cYS9Umgad7lyW8GAo07TwSt6s1KtEHluFWoJoMIvqcrUpDTm4w8/s1600/larryellisonORC.JPG" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQug3cq5t7-OhPM1Q1NiDZ8PJWvofFBImi6IGi5IXWQkZ6c0dB0gykxYmiE03k-0fAIGgIwjQL7Jw0gDYKZj6X68N2cYS9Umgad7lyW8GAo07TwSt6s1KtEHluFWoJoMIvqcrUpDTm4w8/s320/larryellisonORC.JPG" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">CEO of Oracle Larry <span style="color: red;">Ellis</span>on</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCTDPHD7ad7Szb_VSAFsn2N1eL7GSqpiozIC9wp1KOoYkFN__-VeJB0TrkbeE4AStMmw9_79sk8d7-5jxVyoi3tO23y8-cNRlELbT-oWo9ZI-272Lf1qVgLdcGKioy3pzCukIZyYllrrU/s1600/diehardellischaracter.JPG" style="color: #004cb6; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCTDPHD7ad7Szb_VSAFsn2N1eL7GSqpiozIC9wp1KOoYkFN__-VeJB0TrkbeE4AStMmw9_79sk8d7-5jxVyoi3tO23y8-cNRlELbT-oWo9ZI-272Lf1qVgLdcGKioy3pzCukIZyYllrrU/s320/diehardellischaracter.JPG" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-image: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 0px 0px 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Character in first Die Hard named <span style="color: red;">Ellis</span></td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>The name Oracle is from their first project with the CIA, operation code name Oracle. Oracle is a software giant with many government contracts. It's in the business of developing and marketing web based database software solutions. They also acquired Sun Microsystems who is a large supplier of hardware such as servers. </i></span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I thought that Die Hard guy was fishy all along. Something just wasn't right about him. Now we know. Hiding in plain sight, that's always the best way. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P3wPjqYbtmo/TyMzf33dVFI/AAAAAAAAAZk/sUB7vAfaoeM/s1600/carter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-P3wPjqYbtmo/TyMzf33dVFI/AAAAAAAAAZk/sUB7vAfaoeM/s200/carter.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is this Obama without the facepaint?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So what is it that these shady figures are trying to accomplish? Well, Aaron is a little unclear about that. Apparently, most of this was to support the election of an obscure African national to the highest office in the land. The exact mechanism of this is unclear, but it certainly happened at some point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">With something this big, I know you're are thinking: So, why haven't I heard about this before? Aaron Fleszar has that covered too:</span><br />
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">As for the media, don't expect them to report on this. The corporate media initially gave Obama a free pass. Now they appear to be cooperating with the Feds for the most part by distributing misinformation everyday. They want to make it impossible for anyone to connect point A to point B. It appears the Pentagon has recruited writers and editors to conduct their psychological operations. Media websites are now heavily moderated, posts deleted, and the topics all controlled by Washington. The Pentagon is using the liberal biased media to beat up on itself. All popular news sites have comments flowing into them from an NSA software program. If you respond to these comments they will attempt to engage you in a conversation. (basically figure out if you're friend or foe). This was all started after the death of Osama story shut down commenting for a week on Yahoo News. </span><b style="background-color: white; color: blue; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">You and I are the media now. Spreading this information is the most patriotic thing you can do for America and democracy.</b></i> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mI8-YaKYlJw/TyM-ww8cbWI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/kx94mgili6k/s1600/pentagon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mI8-YaKYlJw/TyM-ww8cbWI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/kx94mgili6k/s200/pentagon.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The red lines are only visible from space!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Of course, the <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/math/d/4/c/d4c5508845684ece7d4cdadd6c8495b5.png" target="_blank">Pentagon</a>! Working with the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Stuttering_Association" target="_blank">NSA</a> and the <a href="http://www.michaelsavage.wnd.com/about-michael-savage/" target="_blank">liberal media</a>. That's why he had to start the blog, you see. Take the information right to the people by leaving seemingly deranged comments on news stories. It's genius. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So what's the plan, man? What can we do about this? This:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">If you really want to ensure our democracy and help catch all the bad guys leak this story everywhere</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">1. I strongly recommend sharing this on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/" style="color: #004cb6; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and other social networking sites.</b><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">2. Email this and send out a </span><a href="http://twitter.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #004cb6; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Tweet </a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">asking other to do the same</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">3. Post it to daily news stories and any story that "occupying" protesters may be reading. You don't have to say much, the domain itself says plenty. If the site doesn't allow hyperlinks, just type a sentence or so and something like; Search PalinsDirtyLittleSecret for the biggest cover up in history. This brings in a lot of traffic.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><b style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Bookmark this site</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> since I will continue to update it. I'm afraid to overwhelm anyone with too much information so I'm trying to keep this fairly simple for now as if that's even possible.</span></i> </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5DZBkyn9R7Q/TyNA3ewGDhI/AAAAAAAAAaI/-JAiKsBZnL8/s1600/zuck-emp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5DZBkyn9R7Q/TyNA3ewGDhI/AAAAAAAAAaI/-JAiKsBZnL8/s320/zuck-emp.jpg" width="177" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ever seen these two<br />
in the same place?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, there you have it. All you have to do to save the world from Sarah Palin and George Soros is to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=g8huXkSaL7o#t=89s" target="_blank">spam</a> your friends and family on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/twinklevoss" target="_blank">Facebook</a>. <b>That's probably why Bill Gates invented facebook and hired porn store mop boy <a href="http://cdn.blisstree.com/files/2010/10/unciornman.jpg" target="_blank">Mark Zuckerberg</a> to run it.</b> It's all about <a href="http://www.farm-town.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/farmtown-logo.jpg" target="_blank">FarmVille</a>; and it always was.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Accept the invite.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Accept the invite.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So where do we go from here? As I see it, Aaron Fleszar has proved conclusively that:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Sarah Palin is almost certainly <a href="http://www.heyuguys.co.uk/images/2010/08/Sean-Connery.jpg" target="_blank">Fidel Castro</a> in drag</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://media.snl.no/system/images/c/chamberlain_neville.jpg" target="_blank">Jimmy Carter</a> took notes from <a href="http://images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org/01/2/1/3/67405333640279558.jpg" target="_blank">Ted Danson</a> when he took over the USA</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Any time the letters "P", "A", or "L" are used in a word, this is a clue to the conspiracy. 23 other letters of the alphabet are also involved</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celestial_Intervention_Agency" target="_blank">CIA</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_Blooded_Italians" target="_blank">FBI</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casual_sex" target="_blank">NSA</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Thomas_Anderson" target="_blank">PTA</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Funk_Railroad" target="_blank">GFR</a> are conspiring to do something to someone about something</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">And finally, that he is capable of typing long string of unconnected words</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Please go to <a href="http://palinsdirtylittlesecret.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Aaron's website</a> yourself. The "truth" is out there. Somewhere. Really. I'm almost sure of it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">If you liked this, please feel free to view these finely crafted links:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="GKFKIV-FT" href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/2010/09/help-me-use-sharp-objects-on-my.html" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #ff6600; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-left; white-space: nowrap;">Help me use sharp objects on my genitalia</a> </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="GKFKIV-FT" href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/2010/10/help-mother-in-pain-find-her-child.html" style="background-color: white; color: #3366cc; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-left; white-space: nowrap;">Help a mother in pain find her child</a> </span></div>
<div>
<a class="GKFKIV-FT" href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/2010/10/need-roommate-must-like-cats-and-being.html" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #3366cc; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px; text-align: -webkit-left; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Need Roommate - must like cats - and being groomed by cats</span></a></div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-62522691806079962642012-01-26T20:47:00.000-05:002012-01-26T20:51:37.178-05:00My open letter to the Indianapolis Colts about their crappy website<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">From: Scott Bolander</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">To: dan.plumlee@colts.nfl.net; webmaster@colts.com; jim.irsay@colts.com; jirsay@colts.com; irsayj@colts.com</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The facebook thing on your <a href="http://colts.com/">colts.com</a> website that scrolls out from the left side of the screen whenever you foolishly move your mouse in that area is about the most annoying website “feature” I have seen in years. I go to porn and gambling sites that have less annoying moving ads. Daily. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Is it REALLY that important to try to trick people into clicking on it that you have to annoy the hell out of everyone in the process? Don’t you guys want people to like you as you are? Do you really have to trick them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The sad thing is, I have ALREADY “liked” you guys on facebook! Shouldn’t it at least spare me and just screw over the bastards who hold out? Why not punish them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I have been in IT for years and was doing things on the internet while you were still in grade school, and I have never seen something this annoying and pointless on a legitimate website. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I accidentally clicked on the damn thing three times when I was trying to pause the press conference today. I’m a IT guy, what do you think that Ma and Pa Kettle are experiencing? Each time I had to reload the video and wait for it to spool up so I could get back to where I had been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">On another note, your video player does not allow you to skip ahead unless you download the whole damn video (which seems to be running on a server in someone’s basement with a fat 56k pipe). What, you guys get free bandwidth or something? It’s like something from 2002. Go to youtube, go to espn, go to . . . well anywhere, really. I cannot even remember the last time I watched a video that would not let you skip ahead until it buffered the entire thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">I wish I had the time to create some sort of flash app that runs from this e-mail, so that every time you tried to close it, reply, or delete, something moved in your way. Maybe my rectal MRIs or pictures of my cats – you know, something that you do not care about and do not want to see, constantly blocking you from performing legitimate actions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s always possible that this is some sort of vandalism, you *<b>could</b>* have been hacked by a patriots fan or something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Maybe I’ll tweet something to the owner, Mr. Irsay about it, because I can’t imagine that you or anyone else still with the organization actually comes and looks at the site. Because anyone in a position of power who has any kind of normal sensibilities would not allow something like that to exist.</span><span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">This picture describes how I think the person who thought a annoying</span> <b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 24pt;">LIKE US</span></b> <span style="font-size: large;">thing sliding all over the screen sees the poor bastards who come looking at colts.com:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PGfTjdw_JHg/TyIA4Q29eKI/AAAAAAAAAY0/Ol2STPTK-OE/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PGfTjdw_JHg/TyIA4Q29eKI/AAAAAAAAAY0/Ol2STPTK-OE/s400/images.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><i>A typical colts fan "enjoying" colts.com</i></span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="page-break-after: avoid;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoCaption">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: red; font-size: 26pt;">Please make it stop.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Scott Bolander</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.bluesundaycolts.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">http://www.bluesundaycolts.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">http://www.rantsandpranks.com</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-76446269635164046092011-12-19T15:01:00.000-05:002011-12-19T15:10:53.333-05:00True love is hard to find - without craigslist<span style="font-size: large;">Everyone knows that craigslist is the best place to purchase dialysis equipment, food, Rolex watches, and used underwear. But did you know you can find true love there too? I didn't.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Check out this heartwarming post:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M2mn9u3_loA/Tu-X5kDMcRI/AAAAAAAAAYc/3gU-2C93ygk/s1600/clean+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M2mn9u3_loA/Tu-X5kDMcRI/AAAAAAAAAYc/3gU-2C93ygk/s1600/clean+man.jpg" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-17247366330299394342011-01-26T11:45:00.000-05:002011-01-26T11:45:22.235-05:00Because Tom Cruise is NOT Gay!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TUBPGFq1GxI/AAAAAAAAAHI/lSUh4RtI8Zo/s1600/closeted-celebrity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
<img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TUBPGFq1GxI/AAAAAAAAAHI/lSUh4RtI8Zo/s1600/closeted-celebrity.jpg" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-54575255879396844262011-01-20T13:46:00.000-05:002011-01-20T13:46:31.722-05:00The Spider: Nature's Handmaiden or Tool of Satan?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>I was having a vigorous debate with a local Wuss the other day. Here is a excerpt:</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: I fucking hate spiders. They should all die.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Wuss: Spiders aren’t so bad.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: If I ever got godlike powers, they would all die.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Wuss: Spiders are beneficial, they eat other insects you know.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: So we are keeping spiders around so they will eat the other insects? Fuck them too. I’ll buy an extra can of raid.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Wuss: You can’t get rid of the spiders, they are an important part of the ecosystem.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: The fucking Earth will adjust. The planet didn’t fucking implode when the last dodo died, did it?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Wuss: It would cause some sort of problem. What would the birds eat?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: They can eat each other for all I care. Were the birds crying for me when they stopped making Dino Pebbles cereal? I don’t fucking think so. Ok, I can compromise. I would just have a radius of 25 miles around me that any insect closer than 25 miles would instantly vaporize.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Wuss: Get serious.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Scott: I am serious; I’m talking 25 miles up and down too. I don’t need bugs under my feet. And fuck vaporizing them, I don’t want to be breathing bug fumes – they all get instantly teleported into the center of the sun.</span><br />
<div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>I think I got my point across, don't you? </i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Also, here is a poster that neatly sums all this up:</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TTiCxEvOiGI/AAAAAAAAAHE/OBPtkp6MHow/s1600/spider-car-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TTiCxEvOiGI/AAAAAAAAAHE/OBPtkp6MHow/s640/spider-car-poster.jpg" width="522" /></a></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-6114194194209578992010-12-20T02:18:00.000-05:002010-12-20T02:18:56.256-05:00Another Sad Niche Magazine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TQ8DMbBUe4I/AAAAAAAAAGI/nDzUTjXYsbc/s1600/patriotway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TQ8DMbBUe4I/AAAAAAAAAGI/nDzUTjXYsbc/s1600/patriotway.jpg" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-50744242017039903582010-11-21T16:00:00.000-05:002010-11-21T16:00:01.014-05:00Avoiding Personal Organization and Increasing Clutter<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>The other day I had to go to my doctor after discovering yet another disease I probably have (Google is great for this). </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Doctors are so busy nowadays, mine doesn't even let me make appointments anymore. So I find that if I wait all day I can usually see her when she is walking out to her car to go home.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>This time whilst I waited, I grabbed this fascinating magazine: </i></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TOmHrrGlIxI/AAAAAAAAAF4/clmCfhKodTg/s1600/better-hoarding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TOmHrrGlIxI/AAAAAAAAAF4/clmCfhKodTg/s640/better-hoarding.jpg" width="494" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-70672734270097849902010-11-21T02:51:00.001-05:002011-05-17T16:31:16.407-04:00Even in Star Trek, patients should always read the label and package inserts<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Little known to most viewers, the Trek universe did have it's own version of medical disclaimers. Due to certain issues that I was plagued with in Church, I choose to only focus on the ones dealing with Viagra-like side effects:</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – kick Nancy Crater out of your quarters and wash the salt off your junk.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – This is completely normal during Pon Farr. Perhaps call the Nurse in just to make sure everything is ok.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – let the bitch run out in front of a car.</i></span><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TOjMy-lY9sI/AAAAAAAAAF0/NkdGP0yksS0/s1600/McCoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="532" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TOjMy-lY9sI/AAAAAAAAAF0/NkdGP0yksS0/s640/McCoy.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><br />
</div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-70461515265217611802010-11-18T11:37:00.000-05:002012-02-12T16:36:03.587-05:00FWD: FWD: FWD: Pllleeeeessseeee!!!!! AL-QAEDA USING EMAIL HOAXES TO KILL CHILDREN AND PUPPIES!!!!!!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I know this is TRUE it was on <a href="http://scott.deeztek.com/getwithme/hoax.html" target="_blank">GOOD MORNING AMERICA, NBC, CBS, ABC, AND THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL</a> and has been verified by <a href="http://www.getwithme.com/hoax.html">SNOPES!!!!</a></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">TERROISTS are using EMAIL HOAXES to disseminate intelligence to coordinate suicide attacks against PRESCHOOLERS AND PUPPIES!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The FBI and HOMELAND SECURITY is desperate to stop this and is asking for your help!!!! They ask that you would please DO NOT FORWARD ANYMORE HOAX E-MAILS!!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Just last week, 57 year old Margie Snowrobin of Sarasota Florida forwarded a e-mail to everyone in her family claiming that Barrack Obama was using the Lincoln Bedroom to harvest black market human organs for the Red Chinese. Unknown to her at the time was that this e-mail actually was the last in a set of instructions to a TERRORIST CELL in Macon Georgia that caused a DAYCARE TO BE DEMOLISHED by a carefully engineered EXPLOSIVE PUPPY!!!!! Twenty-seven NEGLECTED CHILDREN and eight unmarriageable and uneducated women lost their lives.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Upon hearing of this Margie promptly licked all the tops of a six pack of coca cola and immediately DIED since she did not wash the RAT PISS off of the tops of the cans.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Last month in Sacramento California, 73 year old Margaret Mooseknuckle of Mesa Arizona forwarded a email to her entire address book which claimed that there was a computer virus out there that would delete your entire hard drive as well as key sequences of your DNA, causing your offspring to be born spastic midgets with learning disabilities.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This email was actually A CODED MESSAGE TO A TERRORIST CELL in Batavia Ohio which triggered an attack on a PUPPY STORE using a carefully engineered EXPLOSIVE CHILD!!!!! Thirty-five neglected PUPPIES and five unmarriageable and uneducated women lost their lives!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Mrs Mooseknuckle was so distraught that she went right out and drove in the SNOW with her CRUISE CONTROL ON! Her car immediately EXPLODED and the car swerved off the road and plummeted onto a beached whale!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So PLEEESSSEEEEE don't forward any more of these HOAX emails!!!! IF YOU DO - YOU ARE KILLING PUPPIES AND LITTLE CHILDREN!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">PLEASE FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK. ALSO, GO THROUGH ALL OF YOUR DELETED EMAIL AND COPY DOWN ALL THE EMAIL ADDRESSES THAT WERE ALSO IN THE "TO" SECTION OF EVERY E-MAIL YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED AND ADD THOSE TOO!!!!!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">For more hoaxes:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="GKFKIV-FT" href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/2010/09/please-help-with-important-research.html" style="background-color: white; color: #3366cc; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; text-align: -webkit-left; white-space: nowrap;">Please help with important research!</a>
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<a class="GKFKIV-FT" href="http://www.rantsandpranks.com/2010/09/help-me-use-sharp-objects-on-my.html" style="background-color: #f7f7f7; color: #3366cc; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px; text-align: -webkit-left; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-size: large;">Help me use sharp objects on my genitalia</span></a>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 42px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-34605471291619338412010-11-05T16:23:00.000-04:002010-11-05T16:23:40.566-04:00Joe's wife got "rooted"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TNRnjP_zBOI/AAAAAAAAAFo/pTE6rG0ZxsI/s1600/wiferooted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TNRnjP_zBOI/AAAAAAAAAFo/pTE6rG0ZxsI/s640/wiferooted.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-89939403832394066342010-11-02T10:33:00.001-04:002010-11-02T10:40:45.975-04:00Oh, you are part Indian? How quaint...<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">I was talking to my friend David Berkowitz the other day and I mentioned that I was part Swedish. He tells me he was part German and Irish. And he adds: Oh, a little bit of Indian too.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">That got me thinking. Every time that this comes up in conversation, </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">I've</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> got some person telling me that they are part Indian.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">How is this possible? Just exactly how much “Indian on Pioneer” sex was going on anyways? Is that where the term “American Indian” came from? Is that an American getting nailed by an Indian?<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">So, how did this work? <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">I can see it going like this:<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Pioneer</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">: I trade pretty glass beads and firewater for all this land – far as the eye can see <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Chief</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">: That good deal – also fuk-em you squaws <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Pioneer</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">: Well, that goes without saying<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">This stuff didn’t make it into the history books. What did make it into the books was horribly misrepresented, like “the Little Big Horn”. *That* sure is transparent. I imagine that “The massacre at Wounded Knee” was some sort of Monica </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Lewinsky</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> thing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Anyways, I thought we “beat” the Indians – how is it that they’re nailing *our* chicks? If anything, Indians should be going around telling everybody that they are 85% Cherokee and 15% Dutch-Irish or something.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">There are people out there that say we stole America from the Indians – our collective family trees say otherwise.</span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-39549340446504559522010-11-02T08:39:00.001-04:002010-11-02T08:40:31.142-04:00Porn at work?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>I read where a some guy got fired from his job for what he was looking at on the internet. No, it wasn’t porn – just girls in bikinis. That is harsh. But if someone complains – nowadays you got real problems.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>It just makes me think – what is the Internet usage policy at say a place like Hustler?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>At Hustler corporate headquarters, is someone going to complain if they walk by your office and see a split beaver on your screen? <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>If you are the guy in charge of photoshopping the cellulite off of Lindsay Lohan’s crotch – you may end up fired as well as blinded.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>If they *do* have a “relaxed” attitude there – is there anything that *is* out of bounds? What would you have to do to test the limits at Hustler?<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>They may even be encouraged to “monitor” the competition.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>Someone walks into your office and finds you fapping to porn – you just tell them that you are working and to come back in three minutes.<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>That also makes me wonder… at a normal business like say McDonalds corporate headquarters, they have people who taste the products, try them out, report back, etc…<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>Is there a job like that at Hustler? Do they have a group of horny guys that they feed these pictures to. To see which ones “work” the best? Just fapping all day for money . . .<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'; font-size: 12pt;"><i>I want that job. I’m ready to give up my amateur status. Draft me boys! </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-61825496827909617142010-10-29T12:05:00.002-04:002010-10-29T12:18:14.140-04:00Help a mother in pain find her child<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>This poor lady has lost her dear child - it is up to us to help her. Please do not judge her, which of us has not woken up from a three day bender to find a kid missing? </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br />
</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I was babysitting once and passed out, woke up on a Russian trawler in the North Sea covered with Sanskrit tattoos. But I don't talk about that year of my life.</i></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TMrwe685LZI/AAAAAAAAAFg/vU3goQGHfUI/s1600/lostkid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TMrwe685LZI/AAAAAAAAAFg/vU3goQGHfUI/s1600/lostkid.jpg" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-52104364126799634742010-10-26T11:20:00.001-04:002010-10-29T12:15:48.990-04:00Need Roommate - must like cats - and being groomed by cats<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Seems everyone is trying hard to make ends meat these days. The thing is, can you *really* "make" meat? And just what is "ends meat" anyways? It does not sound too appetizing to me. Sounds like something you throw away or feed to visiting relatives. Why would you want more of it?</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Oh, and this guy needs a roommate. Help him out if you can.</span></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TMbxj9-e6PI/AAAAAAAAAFc/8YA9ooWJK1A/s1600/roomy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TMbxj9-e6PI/AAAAAAAAAFc/8YA9ooWJK1A/s1600/roomy.jpg" /></a></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></i>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-61426192113807691052010-10-07T15:25:00.001-04:002010-10-07T15:27:44.688-04:00Losing a wallet: Are you *sure* you want it back?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>If you ask for help, you invite in the world. Sometimes there are people in the world you don't want anywhere near you. This is one of those times.</i></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4bvzMtg5I/AAAAAAAAAD0/zkjWkxmCjlA/s1600/me-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="120" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4bvzMtg5I/AAAAAAAAAD0/zkjWkxmCjlA/s640/me-2.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">*A quick google maps search for restaurants in the Canarsie/Brooklin area . . .</td></tr>
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</i></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-84714778209997223152010-10-07T15:02:00.002-04:002010-10-29T12:14:21.034-04:00Maybe craigslist is not the best place to shop for homegoods<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">When you know that a fellow human being needs help, and you can help them - how can you not? With that in mind I regularly monitor the local craigslist:wanted section to see if I can help my fellow man. Such help is often misunderstood and unappreciated however.</span></i><br />
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</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4XycyBubI/AAAAAAAAADY/TvHUOgr0_qM/s1600/rug-him1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="366" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4XycyBubI/AAAAAAAAADY/TvHUOgr0_qM/s640/rug-him1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4YpfjY_RI/AAAAAAAAADg/uhtNundxWGo/s1600/rug-me2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="514" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TK4YpfjY_RI/AAAAAAAAADg/uhtNundxWGo/s640/rug-me2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Still waiting to hear back - I'm willing to take his dog in trade. I have a cold bathroom floor it could help me with...</span></i></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-33824136101809782402010-09-27T11:05:00.001-04:002010-10-29T12:14:00.079-04:00After Party Surprise<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Since my favorite </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>craigslist </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>section was removed under governmental pressure, I usually confine my viewing to "free stuff" (my trailer still needs a rug to really tie the room together). But occasionally I mis-click and I end up in another category. Today I found myself in the "missed connections" category and found this:</i></span><br />
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</i></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-41987821045749040162010-09-25T18:12:00.003-04:002010-10-29T12:13:36.516-04:00Children's Books - Not the final version<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>I was in the local book store to use the bathroom and they were having an incredible sale on children's books - apparently they had been mistakenly sent early versions of these books instead of the final sale copies. I honestly think the publishers should have kept these earlier versions...</i></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52vFen0gI/AAAAAAAAACw/c62FzvDvy9U/s1600/are+you+there+god.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52vFen0gI/AAAAAAAAACw/c62FzvDvy9U/s640/are+you+there+god.jpg" width="424" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">This early version really dealt with some dark issues, but they chickened out and changed it to whiny girl problems</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52vjWmnvI/AAAAAAAAAC0/ItkRGjGoL-Y/s1600/green-eggs-and-ham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52vjWmnvI/AAAAAAAAAC0/ItkRGjGoL-Y/s640/green-eggs-and-ham.jpg" width="468" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">I think I ate at that Waffle House once</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52wWltokI/AAAAAAAAAC4/MqXx6GhgQAc/s1600/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52wWltokI/AAAAAAAAAC4/MqXx6GhgQAc/s640/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire.jpg" width="566" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Studies show that his version of the book would have prevented 78,000,000 teen pregnancies</span></td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52xK9c_oI/AAAAAAAAAC8/uAsqaKWmWk0/s1600/mommy+has+a+choice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJ52xK9c_oI/AAAAAAAAAC8/uAsqaKWmWk0/s640/mommy+has+a+choice.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
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</i></span>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-64815960391146502052010-09-25T15:17:00.004-04:002010-10-29T12:13:16.995-04:00Nothing gets in between me and my polyester paints<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Respecting your elders is important. Opportunities for service are all around you. Each day I go up to my Great-Grandmother's attic to loosen her bindings and also change her food *and* waste buckets (my lazy half-sister usually just switches them). I normally use this opportunity to dig through her old trunks looking for pawnable items. Yesterday I found this queer old poster from 1938 with some completely random woman on it. I posted it below:</span></i><br />
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</i>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-9726427641358091382010-09-23T13:59:00.001-04:002010-10-29T12:12:57.400-04:00Pest control you can trust . . .<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Had a odd gentleman come by the trailer yesterday peddling his Pest Control business. I'm thinking I may hire him as I do have a gypsy moth problem...</span></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJuVJx7wjvI/AAAAAAAAAB0/Bkrb3ICvuH4/s1600/nazi-card.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="370" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJuVJx7wjvI/AAAAAAAAAB0/Bkrb3ICvuH4/s640/nazi-card.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
</span></i>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-531599787007152023.post-58496317033059406882010-09-21T11:41:00.001-04:002010-10-29T12:12:23.937-04:00Don't hit me bro!<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">This poster is about some guy I knew in school. Who is dead. So, definitely NOT about anyone famous. I can't be sued for that. Right?</span></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJjSD5a9CwI/AAAAAAAAABk/rhrhVvqhS3s/s1600/chrisbrown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="512" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KmQCTSXJTbA/TJjSD5a9CwI/AAAAAAAAABk/rhrhVvqhS3s/s640/chrisbrown.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>Scott Bolanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08035980544052464181noreply@blogger.com0