Even in Star Trek, patients should always read the label and package inserts

Little known to most viewers, the Trek universe did have it's own version of medical disclaimers.  Due to certain issues that I was plagued with in Church, I choose to only focus on the ones dealing with Viagra-like side effects:


In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – kick Nancy Crater out of your quarters and wash the salt off your junk.


In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – This is completely normal during Pon Farr.  Perhaps call the Nurse in just to make sure everything is ok.


In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours – let the bitch run out in front of a car.